Thoughts and Prayers..

(Written March 2024)

I'm having trouble finding my place in the world. I can't seem to make anything work out for me. It is truly a miracle that I am still so diligent and relentless... i must really love art. The thought passed in my mind whether to keep pursuing that dream job in the animation studios again, but.. i truly think my heart cant take that rejection anymore. But scarily i dont know where i fit in... i thought maybe it was teaching art, but i think that was just a lesson i needed to learn. I thought maybe childrens books, but i'm not positive about it. There is always my love for Jaydis Story, but my mind tells me I won't be able to make a living off of that for quite a while. I know I won't give up on the series, but I am uncertain how I will provide for myself in the near future. I have a lot of self doubt, but i know I will never give up on art. I cannot give up on art. Art won't let me... or maybe God won't. But I still haven't found the place in art where i fit in and feel confident in where i am going. The only time i got close was at SVA.. easily the 4 best years of creative fulfillment i have ever experienced. But i dont have that mentorship and peership anymore, and that sense that of all my oddities are normal. I dont feel like i fit in anywhere, and its a really strange place to be.